Whether you’re waiting for someone to log online, or you’re sitting in a conference room before a meeting, people often find themselves in situations where they need to fill time before an event begins. That’s why it’s important to plan out some topics to chat about. People usually connect over the weather, tv shows, sports, etc. But if you have repetitive meetings with people, you’ll want to expand your small talk repertoire.
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That’s why I suggest thinking about:
​What would you like people to imagine you doing when you’re not working together?

I like to think of activities in three categories:
1. When you’re not at work
2. When you’re collaborating with other departments
3. When you’re working on your current projects

For example, perhaps you want people to envision you exploring new places by going hiking or traveling. Then, you could talk about a recent trip you had, or a place you’ve been researching that you’ll go to soon. Or, maybe you want people to imagine you collaborating with different departments. Then, you could share how you just came from a great meeting where you were working with someone on establishing a new initiative in your organization. Or, if you want folks to picture you actively working on your current project, you could share how you’ve been spending time creating a new presentation that you’re going to share with a client. 

No matter what you share during downtime, it’s an opportunity for folks to have more information about you that helps them visualize you in action. That’s why the stories you share through small talk are important. They give other people information to pull from when you’re not around. That’s why it’s good to be intentional about every opportunity you have to connect, including while you wait for something else to begin.

Author: Bri McWhorter

One of the most common small talk questions is, “What do you do?” People ask this question because it’s a quick and concise way to ask people how they spend the majority of their time. But often, this question doesn’t allow people to open up and connect. 

Folks might answer:
I’m a grad student at X university.
I’m an attorney.
I’m a Developer at X corporation.

Some people will share a little about the type of work they do, but people are often quite succinct and don’t elaborate. This makes it hard to find an organic way to continue the conversation. That’s why I recommend following up by asking people about what aspects of their jobs (or their fields) that they appreciate.

For example you could ask:

What’s something you enjoy about your work at the moment? 
Are you noticing anything changing in your field right now? 
What is one of the best parts of your job?
What is something about your current role that you find interesting?
What’s something you look forward to when you work with your colleagues?

We can always find ways to bond over stress and discomfort, but when you are meeting someone new, it’s good to connect over things that energize or intrigue you. If your goal is to get people to open up, think about also asking them to share things that inspire and motivate them.

Author: Bri McWhorter